The Making of an Artist

Sunday afternoon flea market at the Gypsy Wagon.

Another great swim day for Hudson!

It's a beautiful day!

Today is my birthday.
I am 38 years OLD.
I think I must be too old to be having another baby.
BUT- I'm very excited about the new baby (who incidentally is VERY active)!
Next Wednesday we find out if Hudson will have a baby brother or baby sister come May 30th! Can't wait!!
It's sunny and beautiful here in Dallas today.
Everyone is on the mend in the Akins household, so things are looking up. FINALLY!
I took these photos last weekend at the park, hope you enjoy.

A house full of sick ones

Today Scott came home early from work because he's sick. He's done this one other time in the 7 years I've known him. He must be feeling pretty bad. Thankfully (or not?) he isn't suffering alone. Hudson was so happy to have someone to snuggle with on the couch.

So, let's take an inventory...

Sick husband, check.
Sick toddler, check.
Sick (ok, injured) Dulce, check.
Sick (ok, injured...again) Willy Wonka, check.
And then there's the pregnant woman taking care of them all, check.

Hey, at least kitkat's healthy!

Yesterday I took Hudson to the doctor...again, yes, again...because his eyes have been really red and irritated, and he just doesn't look good. Apparently the eyes were nothing, but while there we discovered he has yet ANOTHER ear infection. Yes, another one. In the same ear! This makes three in the last 6 weeks. Since his pediatrician was out yesterday we had to see another doctor, so today I left a message for his doctor to call me, so we can try to figure out what's going on. Geez. I just don't understand why we can't get any answers. Can you tell I'm frustrated?

In other news, our home remodel project has begun. We're closing off our office and making it into a nursery. We're also remodeling the downstairs bathroom to include a bathtub for the kiddos. The demolition is tomorrow and things are about to get really crazy around here. Hudson and I are going to check into a hotel for a few days while they do the really loud stuff. I just wish we could snap our fingers and it would all be done, but it's never quite that easy. The project is supposed to be finished by mid-March, in plenty of time for baby #2's arrival, and I know it will all be worth it.

The dogs are both doing well. Willy Wonka is back to acting like himself. I came home this morning to find his lamp shade was missing. I suspect he and Dulce worked as a team to remove it. I found it outside buried under some leaves!! Yep, he's definitely back to himself. I bet he thought he was finished with the hat and that it would never be found buried out in the yard, but he's wrong. The doctor says he has to wear it for another week! Willy Wonka, we're going to have to watch you (and your partner in crime, Dulce!) very closely!

A new semester begins at Emler Swim School!

Hudson started a new semester of swim class today and he did an awesome job! I can't get over what a "big boy" he has suddenly become. In his new class he swims without da-da, and even though both ma-ma and da-da are close by, he's in the water all by himself! We were so proud of him this morning! Great swimming, Hud!

Here is a mediocre video from this morning, but you can see what a great job the Hud did!

Today is a better day. Every day since Monday has been a better day. This morning I woke up thinking, today IS going to be a better day, too. Then I came to the realization that really, all we can ask for every day is that each day is better than the day before. When you have a really, really bad day that's all you can do is hope for a better day.

Since the last few blog posts have been a little difficult to read, I thought everyone could use a laugh, and leave it to the Hud to give us one.

I posted a photo of Hudson wearing his red sunglasses over the weekend, you probably remember seeing it. I've included several more in this post, since he wears them all the time now. He absolutely loves the red sunglasses (again, which he chose himself) and often refuses to take them off. Yesterday was no exception. We had to make a quick trip to Target, and Hudson insisted on wearing his red sunglasses inside of the store. I decided this was something I could live with, so I didn't push the issue.

We got a lot of laughs and "he's so cute" comments, which are always nice to hear. But, the best part of the story is....well, there's a guy that works at target, he's an older fellow with a long white beard, he's worked there as long as I can remember, a nice guy. As we walked past him in the store, he noticed Hudson's sunglasses and commented on how "cool" they were and then kept walking. Immediately Hudson yelled as loud and as joyfully as possible, "SANTA!!! SANTA!!! SANTA!!!". I just pretended like I didn't know what he was saying, with a shrug of my shoulders and a puzzled look on my face, but I knew darn well, Hudson thought he was Santa. I guess all those stories and pictures of Santa we showed Hudson in an effort to make the "sitting on Santa's lap" experience better really paid off. Good work, Ma-ma and Da-da.

additon to yesterday's post

Note: if you haven't yet read yesterday's post, "survivors", you should read that first.

After reading my post yesterday, Scott felt that I did not accurately portray how much "fighting" he and I had to do with the two pitbulls attacking Willy Wonka and Dulce. I guess in my telling of the story I made it sound like we just stood there and screamed. We didn't. I was trying to spare everyone the horrific visuals that come with telling such a horrible story, but to be clear, it was a team effort which involved physical strength on both our parts. Thankfully, I was somehow strong enough to keep Willy Wonka clutched in my arms, despite being pushed and trampled on by a 90 pound male pitbull, and I still couldn't completely protect him, I'm so sorry Willy Wonka... Scott was miraculously strong enough to grab the 90 pound pitbull by the scruff of his neck and hold him that way for several minutes until neighbors could help get all of us to safety. If he had not done that, I don't know if either one of our dogs would be alive today. It was a fight. A brutal, terrible fight. We are both extremely sore, bruised and achy, but again...so thankful to all be alive.

I am also, this morning filing a "dangerous dog" report in an effort to keep these dogs from harming anyone else. If their owners go looking for them at the shelter, they will be re-released to them. If Scott, Hud or I had been bitten in the attack, this would not be the case. I guess in the eyes of the law, dog's lives just aren't as important as human's. I want to make it my mission to get this changed. In the meantime, I am doing everything I can to deem the two dogs as dangerous, there may be a hearing in our immediate future. We'll keep you all posted.

Survivors

Yesterday was the most horrific day of my entire life.

Initially, I wasn't sure I'd want to write about it on the blog, why on earth would I share such a horrible experience with those of you who visit the blog to feel good and be happy? Those who stop by to read cheerful, upbeat stories about our lives as a family and see silly photos of us with Hudson as we experience life together. Well, this morning, I woke up a changed person, for what we experienced yesterday will forever change the way I see the world.

Let me first say, we are all okay.
We are all safe and sound.
We are all alive.
I am grateful.
29 hours ago I wasn't sure we would be.

Yesterday morning, around 8AM I mentioned that I wanted to take the dogs for a walk. It was nice outside, and I often worry that our dogs aren't getting the exercise they need. So, we loaded Hudson up for a walk in the stroller, put the dogs on their leashes and headed out. We walked the neighborhood for a good half an hour and then headed back home down our street.

We were about 5 houses down from our house when Scott and I noticed two off-leash pitbulls literally charging our way.

Panic.

Utter complete panic set in.

What occurred after that is so horrific and so frightening, to tell every detail is just too much.

We, our dogs, were attacked. Thankfully, the pitbulls weren't interested in us, or Hudson. Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully...I can't say that enough. But they wanted our dogs, and they weren't backing down.

If you know me at all you know how much I love animals, how involved I am in animal rescue, and how our dogs ARE our children. There was no way we were going to leave our dogs there and run. After several minutes of complete horror and a fear I have never known, nor can I describe, Scott and I worked together to protect our dogs... screaming for help as loud as we could. I am sickened by the realization that Hudson had to witness this entire experience, just sickened. I don't know what we could have done to prevent that from happening, and all we can do is try to make sure he's okay, and we think he is.

After minutes that felt like hours of screaming, neighbors finally came to our assistance. While one neighbor was able to assist Scott in getting the one of the pitbulls off of Dulce and safely into his home, another helped me get Hudson and Willy Wonka down the street and safely into our home.

Police arrived several minutes later, as well as an ambulance, and finally animal control. Once the paramedics looked me over, we rushed Willy Wonka and Dulce to the Veterinary Hospital and then took me to the ER to make sure baby and I were okay (in the attack I was pushed to the ground twice in an effort to keep pitbulls off of Willy Wonka). Thankfully, baby and I are okay and though I am very bruised and sore, with scrapes all over my body, I AM ALIVE and so is every member of my family. I am grateful.

Both dogs are doing okay, but they have some recovering to do. Willy Wonka got the worst of it, and it breaks my heart to see him this way. He had several bite/puncture wounds to his hind quarters, one which required surgery yesterday afternoon. He is doing okay today, but has to wear a lampshade on his head and will be on pain medication and antibiotics for a while. While Dulce's injuries were less severe, she certainly didn't get away unharmed. She has several large puncture wounds which will need daily cleaning, and she has to wear a t-shirt around her torso to keep her from licking her wounds. She's also on pain medication and antibiotics. Please keep both Willy Wonka and Dulce in your thoughts as we help them heal from this horrific experience. I am so glad they are with us today.

As for the dogs who attacked us...we do not know where they came from, or who they belonged to. They did not appear to be strays, but they were on the streets alone, and did not have collars on. They were taken to the Dallas Animal Services shelter, and I am waiting to hear from one of my rescue contacts as to what their fate will be. It is my hope that they do not make it out of the shelter.

This morning I have been reflecting on this experience, asking all the "what-ifs", wondering if there was something we could have or should have done differently, worrying if Hudson will remember this horrible experience and forever be traumatized like us.... It is my belief that when something this traumatic happens in your life, there just has to be a reason; a lesson to be learned. Perhaps for me, that lesson was recognizing and realizing that my family is the most important thing in the entire world and as long as I have them, and they are all safe, then I need nothing else in life. I know now more than I ever have before that Scott and I would do whatever we had to to protect our family, that we would never abandon our beloved dogs to just fend for themselves, and that even if we as a family are met with the greatest fear we have ever known, somehow, someway, we will get through this together.

I am so incredibly grateful that we are all alive today.

Katy Trail Animal Hospital added this tag to Willy Wonka's collar yesterday. This brought me to tears.

Richard Diebenkorn

When Hudson was around 6 months old we introduced him to Mark Rothko. Today, we introduced him to another great artist, Richard Diebenkorn.

The show was actually a collection of Diebenkorn's Ocean Park Series, but they wouldn't let me photograph anything in those galleries. So, although this is a Diebenkorn painting, and a great one at that, it's not what we went to see today. Hudson does have a love of painting (so we're told anyways), so we thought that not only would this add to his exposure to the arts, but perhaps provide a little creative inspiration as well. I think to some extent, he enjoyed seeing the paintings today.

Ah, the stroller...
Once, such a handy, convenient piece of equipment.
Now, apparently, a push toy.

"Cheeeeeeeeesssssee!"

Additionally today, the Hud, insisted on these very stylish red sunglasses, as he has a very strong dislike for the sun in his eyes. He also strongly insists on wearing these sunglasses indoors. I'm starting to understand the phrase, "you have to choose your battles".

Swim Class, January 2012

update

Things are looking up the last few days, Hudson FINALLY slept through the night without waking up saying, "mama, mama, mama, mama...." the last two nights in a row. YIPPPEEEEE!!! And, though we're still not back to the established routine we had, we're getting closer. I'm trying to stay optimistic and hold on to the idea that it WILL happen...eventually. Hopefully before the next baby arrives, so that we can sleep for 10 hours at night if we want to before the sleep deprivation hits us again.

I took Hudson to the park yesterday, it was sunny and 65 degrees out, so we headed over. Something tells me he wasn't quite ready for a trip to the park, since all he wanted was to be held while we were there. This is not the Hudson I know, and I have to say, I'm a little worried about him. For now I'm blaming his behavior on the fact that he's still trying to get better....still. Poor guy. I just want to see him well again.

This afternoon we're heading back to the Pediatric Pulmonologist to see how things are going with his asthma and seemingly never-ending cough and wheezing. It would be so nice to get to the bottom of this after all.

In other news...the baby was really moving last night and Scott got to feel his first actual kick with this pregnancy. He smiled from ear to ear, and it made me really happy and reminded me again how truly amazing it is that we're having another baby. If you ask Hudson what's inside mommy's tummy, he'll say, "baby!". Sadly, though, he also thinks there is one in da-da's tummy, and his own, so it's clear he doesn't quite get it.

Cheese, Da-Da!

This morning Hudson grabbed my phone and said, "cheese!! Da-da!!" He's used to me taking his picture and sending it to Scott throughout the day, so this morning he decided to beat me to it! Here is what resulted.

Parenthood

It's a rainy, ugly day here in Dallas, which has me feeling a little blue. Perhaps there is also the addition of hormones in my body which accompanies pregnancy, or just the fact that I feel completely and totally exhausted after the last couple of weeks. Hudson finally went back to school this morning, though I admit he still isn't 100 %, he is doing better. I am optimistic that he might actually eat something today and I am thankful for the chance to breathe.

It's no secret that parenting is difficult, on many levels, much more so than I could have ever imagined. Generally and comparatively speaking, we have a pretty fabulous kid on our hands. So what do I have to feel blue about? Well, it's been a REALLY long, very difficult couple of weeks for us. Looking back, I think perhaps there was just too much change for Hudson in the month of December and his little body just couldn't adjust...he was out of school for two weeks, we took two very short trips to California and back, traveled into different time zones, was sick with four trips to the doctor, 2 ear infections and a tummy bug, and a complete and total loss of our "normal" day- to-day routine.

In a lot of ways Scott and I feel like we have a newborn again. We were so proud when we "sleep trained" Hudson and he started sleeping through the night at 4 months old. It absolutely changed our lives as parents and gave us a small part of our lives back. We were so incredibly thankful for that, but now...Hudson hasn't slept through the night in weeks and I know it's all related to the changes we put him through this month.

Prior to the month of December, things were in a really good place. After all, we're having another baby, so we must have (to some degree) felt like we were ready and could handle the addition of another baby. Post December, I'm starting to think we're crazy. This is not to say that I'm not incredibly excited about the little one growing in my belly, I am, but if I'm being honest, the reality is setting in and now I'm just plain terrified.

I thought about this a lot last week when Hudson was so sick he wouldn't leave my side. What would I do if this was happening AND the new baby was here. The answer is, I don't know, and this is what scares me. Sure, we can hire someone to help us, and we probably will have to, but is it wrong that I don't really want to? In a perfect world we'd have family right here, down the street, willing and able to lend a hand when the going gets rough. But we don't. I mean, who the heck wants to live in Dallas? We'd also have an established, strong, supportive network of friends to carry us through the tough days, but we don't have that either, which makes life incredibly difficult some days and weeks. The fact remains that we are where we are, even if we'd rather be somewhere else, and all we can do is make the best of it.

I know that we have a lot to be thankful for, and a lot to look forward to, and this is what keeps me going. The occasional flutter in my tummy is a reminder that we're bringing another life into this world, and that is nothing short of wonderful. Months like the one we just had feel like tests of our strength as parents and I'm not quite sure we've passed with flying colors. No one can tell you what it's like to be a parent. When you don't have children you have an idea of what it's like, but frankly, you just have no clue. How can you? Being a parent is something you can't explain with words or read about in books, it's something you must experience first hand. The love you have for your child, the willingness to do whatever it takes to make their life safe, happy and wonderful is beyond explanation, but it's also REALLY hard work. There are SO many wonderful, make-you-smile moments that come with the challenges of parenting though, so that even those trips down the stairs, half awake at 1 o'clock in the morning, can be wonderful when you're met by your child with an enormous, "thank-god-you're-here" hug. Words can't explain that feeling.

So, as I am reflecting on the last month and how tough it's been, I am also proud of our ability to get through it. I am also reminded that so many parents go through things much more difficult than a few weeks of sleepless nights and a child with an ear infection and I am thankful that even on bad days/months, we've got it pretty darn good.

Day 4

No fever today. Still not quite himself. We took a nap together today (someone has been a bit on the needy side this week). I didn't mind though, some day soon I will miss the chance to snuggle up to this little face.

Day 3

Looked just like day 2, except a trip to the doctor (again) told us he had yet ANOTHER ear infection!

Day 2, home sick

Poor Hud, the fever continues. This might be the worst bug Hud's ever had and it breaks my heart to see him this way. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

We're sick....again!

If you're wondering where we've been this week, well these pictures should say it all. We had a wonderful Christmas, but unfortunately, Santa brought me a horrible cold, which incidentally, I STILL have! It's been a rough week to say the least...I was in bed on New Year's Eve at 8PM. Poor Scott!! And, as if it wasn't bad enough having a sick, pregnant wife...Hudson gets sick. And I mean, really sick. We took him to the doctor yesterday (3rd time this month, we're setting records here...) and they told us he had a tummy bug. What does this entail? Nothing fun. He can't keep anything down, if he eats at all and he's just simply miserable. We spent a lot of time on the couch today watching Word World (Hud's favorite), trying to drink some "juice" (aka: pedialyte) and snuggling with George.