631 days

For the last 631 days I've been home with Hudson, taking care of him, looking after him, playing with him, feeding him, changing him, reading to him, tickling him, snuggling with him, talking to him, taking classes with him, changing diapers...well, you get the point...and let's face it, there were days I loved every single second of it. There were plenty of days I didn't. Days I felt I was incredibly lucky to be able to stay home with my son and days I wished I hadn't decided to. I've learned so much in this time with my son, and I can easily say that parenting, in particular stay-at-home parenting, is BY FAR the hardest job I have ever had, and believe me, I've had some rough jobs. But, even on the hardest days when I would stop and take a breath I would think to myself, try to enjoy these moments because you won't have them forever, and it's true.



Tomorrow Hudson starts his first day of preschool at Junius Heights Montessori School. The first day I get to go with him, and it's only for 30 minutes. From there he starts to go alone and they gradually increase his 30 minutes to an hour, then an hour and a half, and so on and so forth until he gets to 3 hours a day. Scott and I had our first "parent meeting" last weekend and it really hit me that Hudson is starting school. This is it- the first real separation from me that he'll experience, and even worse- the first real separation from him that I'll experience. I envision myself sitting in the car parked down the street sobbing uncontrollably for the first few days. I just can't believe how quickly this is happening, and although I think Hudson is so ready and Scott and I feel so good about his school, our special time together is ending and another part of his life is beginning. I've been anticipating this all week as I've been getting Hudson's things together for school, and I keep thinking... this must be how empty-nesters feel when their children go off to school. It's only been 631 days for me and I feel sad, how am I going to handle this when he leaves 16 years from now?



I know we'll still have a lot of time together in the afternoons and I look forward to it. I know that Hudson and I will always have a special bond because of the time we've spent together. I know that a big part of who he is is in part because of me and I could not be more proud. The last 631 days will always hold a very special place in my heart. There is absolutely no doubt that being a mom is the best, most challenging, most rewarding, most amazingly wonderful experience of my life and I am so thankful to my little boy for making it so special.



I love you, love-bug, and I will miss you!
XOXOX