When I found out I was pregnant with Madeline I began to wonder if it was possible to love another baby as much as I love Hudson. I know that sounds silly because of course I would, right? In my heart I knew I would, but I still worried. It was difficult to wrap my head around loving anyone as much as the Hud.

Well, after one week with my new little angel I can honestly say that it IS possible. I could literally sit and watch my little girl sleep all day long. She is so amazing in every single way, and having been through this whole baby thing before I can now appreciate that each phase of their lives goes so, so quickly that I am embracing every single moment. Even the 2AM wakings are special (though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't exhausted).

So, I guess my worries about whether or not I would have enough love to give both my babies are gone. Now I can worry about something else, and if you know me well, you know I will.

One thing that has surprised me a bit is how much I'm missing Hudson. With a C-section delivery the recovery period takes some time and there are limitations to what I can do (I can't lift Hudson for 4-6 weeks!!). All of that combined with the fact that our bedroom is upstairs and I'm only allowed two trips up and down per day (I have to choose them wisely). This portion of recovery thankfully only lasts two weeks, then I can come and go as I please. But, for now I am really, really missing my little boy. I just don't get to see him very much and when I do it's difficult because I'm usually feeding or holding the baby. It's going to be this way for a while, and I'm feeling a bit guilty about it. I was warned I'd have some "mommy guilt" once the second baby arrived, after all, Hudson and I have been together, just the two of us for 2 1/2 years and now suddenly everything has changed. I sort-of knew this was coming, I have even written about it on the blog, but I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I just miss my little boy so much right now.  I miss our special times together, reading books, playing at Coffee Park (Hud's all time favorite), going for pink ice cream, music class and many, many other things.

On top of that I'm also an emotional wreck, crying at the drop of a hat these days, which is all to be expected postpartum, or so they told us when they discharged me from the hospital.

Maybe it's the hormones and the postpartum blues, I don't know...maybe it's just me being sappy.. but my heart is so filled with love for my amazing husband and our two beautiful, healthy babies. We are now a family of four, and I am one lucky girl.